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Nighttime Confessions

L.C. McQuillen

21.08.18

You asked me  
How I felt about  
All that is and was  
Torn around us.
What love looks
Like when through  
My eyes I’ve witnessed  
Broken attempts.  
 
I lifted my head
Took a sip of cheap wine  
And looked you in the eyes.  
 
What I know is this,
There is love and there  
Is reality.  
Rarely in the views of  
Mankind are they intertwined.  
The reality is that to find  
Love you have to be okay  
Without it.  
Be self sufficient  
Because love isn’t medication  
It will not sustain you  
Carry your own fucking weight  
It isn’t hard to own yourself.  
What is hard is relying on  
Everyone else to  
Because they won’t.  
They’ll fail and all you’ll  
Ever know of ‘love’  
Is being dropped;
Is becoming more broken.  
Love is not in emotion,
Love cannot feel hurt
You feel hurt because  
The absence of pure adoration,
But I guess for most it’s easier to say  
You fell out of love
Then to admit you never knew what it was.
I love dangerously.
If you invite me to love you
Then I will not let you sit on
Your flaws
I will throw your own potential  
At you until we’ve wrung out
The useless nuisance of
Self doubt and excuses
And I can only hope
That you would do the same  
For me.  
Love does not always look like  
Acceptance and agreeing,
It sometimes is the eyes  
We ourselves cannot find  
To become stronger.
Because the only thing  
Love can and ever will be  
Is wellbeing.  
And we, we are whole all  
By ourselves and that  
Is why I think we chose  
Each other  
Because I don’t need you  
And you don’t need me  
But we want it.
And come what may
Whatever the weather  
I know that we  
Can sustain ourselves,
But together  
And that is what I believe in.
Love.

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